A Penny For Your Thoughts?!

I have to admit,  the major reason I have not written in what seemed like a short while to me but is actually very many months( I would use ‘years’, but abeg I’m not trying to complicate this matter) is over-thinking.

Many times, really many times, I took a pen and a book and started writing down something I wanted to post, but it was only a matter of seconds before my brain got clogged with too many ideas and I somehow convinced myself that the ideas did not make sense. Just like that, many ideas were murdered even before they became posts that anyone got to read.

One of such occasions, was an evening in September 2015. I had just gotten home from sewing lessons. I was bent on eating one of these small chops that go well with coconut (very likely boiled corn, bread or Ijebu garri) even though every one else in the house was having wheat and okro soup for dinner. This meant that I had to remove the husk myself which, back in the day, when my house was still a boys’ quarters, would have been done by one of the boys. So, this brilliant (so I thought) idea of relating the coconut to our now almost empty house popped up. I had figured it all out already; from talking about those days when one could very rarely find a mature coconut hanging on the tree because my brothers, cousins, brothers’ friends, cousins’friends, or even brothers’friends’cousins would have plucked the thing and made a big bowl of garri and diced coconut for anyone interested; to whining about these days when the coconuts now mature, dry and even start germinating on the tree because honestly, the only  three people in the house, Paddyman, Paddywoman and Ngozi, are too busy with their various hustles to remember coconuts exist. Anyway, I never got to write it, because I thought, ” what’s the conne between coconut tree and my family”?

My friend, Bimbs told me last year, that I’m a near-perfectionist which is quite true and I have come to realize is mostly a negative thing, I’ll tell you how. Very often, I have  a mental picture of something, but once I see it not turning out how I planned, I abandon it. Totally. Sadly, it applies to almost every area in my life and is very likely the reason I stopped the ready-to-wear ankara business I sold my Blackberry Bold 5 to start last year. I had been very excited about it, but once the clothes were ready, people weren’t buying as i thought they would  so I packed the clothes and threw them in a corner of my room. I still have shorts (UK size 6) for sale, and at an affordable price, incase you are interested.

IMG_20160215_222903

Until you can be paid for it, there’s no use thinking problems into existence. But, imagine a world where you could just call a company and pay them to help you think sha!  Let me stop here before I discard this post too biko.

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36 thoughts on “A Penny For Your Thoughts?!

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  1. I soo can relate with this..Sometimes we just have to take writing and any other activity we love, as fun. Sometimes a perfectionist starts a battle with self and in such battles, there’s always no winner or loser. You can’t win or lose to yourself. Nice stuff!
    *are those shorts unisex? *

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  2. From the twist of why u cud hardly hv the patience to see a post thru to having to put up dem cute shorts for sale.. All na still marketing strategy.. Lol.. Nice one Owgee… Bn like forever since I read ur literary pieces.. Shud I say welcome bck?..lol

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  3. I want to start that company that helps people think, fam. I need to start getting paid for my over-thinking, eez the only way.
    Lovely post!

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  4. Perfectly said.

    I think perfectionist is just code for “I overthink” or “I’m an expert at stalling” like 90% of the time. Your product is not likely to be at its best if you don’t iterate over and over anyway.

    I used to work on reports for say 2 hours then wait another 6 hours to make sure it’s perfect. The result: No value added after 6 hours. Perfectionism just stole 2 other reports that would have actually made me better.

    You won’t know if you did (or how to do) it right until you actually do I guess.

    Thanks for sharing! Nice work on the shorts.

    Note: Took me 40 perfectionist minutes to type and hit send on this comment.

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  5. err… biko… how do you eat diced coconut? I mean.. with what? Just been wondering on that.

    The shorts are lovely.. but if I were to get them I’ll make them shorter tho. hehehe

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    1. Hi Oluchi. You know how you slice those vegetables for fried rice, shey? Ehen, it’s the same thing for coconut. Replace your groundnut with it next time you want to drink garri. If you like, add the coconut water too. You’re welcome.

      On the shorts, I should make one like that. Especially for this our insanity-inducing weather. Haha.

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  6. Ermmm, you know how excited I was that you had written again, one of the times we chatted? Well, I’m just reading the post. *embarrassed* I just forgot and then I remembered this early morning. Long story!
    The post of lovely, your posts are anyway. They are soooooo relatable. Please don’t stop writing. If you probably feel like you are overthinking, itemize each thought, then one day at a time…

    Okay bye..running late

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  7. *sighs. I can relate to this. I overthink everything, over-plan everything and once it doesn’t work out I drop it and do something else. The moment I saw literary blogging was time-consuming and wasn’t bringing in any income worth anything, I stopped it. I tried gossip blogging, but too may competitors and was even more time consuming, I left that one. Then I wanted to be a novelist, but when I saw how poorly published books (especially fiction) were doing, and the amount of time, energy and editing that went into full length novel writing, without any certainty that you will be even published, I gave up on that too. I did some short stories, but were all rejected by Granta and co, lol. And most don’t even pay, phew! Then I did screen writing for a while, but not having the right Nollywood connections and after being duped by a fake agent/manager, I gave up all writing that i spent years on, except for twitter. The best I got was compliments, mostly from family and friends, very little money. But in this economy, who compliments don epp?

    Then I fell back on my degree, which seems to be pulling in the income I need. Seems my pa was right all along, phew. But what i learned from it all is to be more sanguine and less melancholic in dream-pursuit. Not to overthink and overplan, just do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chelsea, you have no idea what your comment means to me. I hope that if I decide to fall back on my degree sometime, it won’t be too late.
      These days I don’t even know what my passion is anymore, I just want know I want to live a happy life with no regrets whatsoever.
      Will Geology bring me money? Of course! Do I want to work as a Geologist? I’m not sure yet. Will writing bring me money? I wish. Will I love to have a career in writing? I don’t mind at all.
      P.S : money is a huge part of happiness which I never ever want to lack.

      Thank you for reading and being kind enough to share your thoughts, Chelsea. I appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

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